Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Canadians Draft Beer, Not Soldiers


Wednesday already? How did that happen?

Somewhere between Jason being mistaken for a burglar and me having a good cry in a dressing room, this week has really flown by.

But I did manage to watch half of Memoirs of a Geisha, and half of Donnie Darko, plus I've read half of Canterbury Tales, and half of Beautiful Losers. So I've attempted an awful lot - completed nothing, mind you, but attempted plenty.

And that's to say nothing of the half-sunburn I've got going, not to be confused with Jason's frostbite, which is now half peeled away (thank goodness), or the problem with my tender tootsies that has got me better than halfway to disability.

So we were sitting on a busy little patio the other day, having food and drinking drinks, watching traffic go by while Jason tells me the story of how he apprehended some shop lifters, sadly, a family of four, the mother using her 2 young children as camouflage as she stuffed all kinds of merchandise into their strollers. When they were stopped, they'd stolen items from all over the mall - American Eagle, Shopper's Drug Mart, Toys R Us, Winners, literally thousands of dollars worth of stuff. So the mother and father comforted their restless children while they waited for the police to arrive; no one was surprised to learn that the mother has a long list of previous charges. When the police arrived at Jason's store, another shoplifter got nervous and dumped his H&M haul into the nearest dressing room and hauled ass. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, but in the end, I didn't have to choose.

We were interrupted, by some dude doing card tricks.

A magician, if you will.

Thank goodness I don't eat ribs or wings; he kept asking to use "the lady's magic hands", which is possibly sexual harassment, I'm not sure. Anyway. We let him do a couple of tricks and then he wandered away to bother/entertain another table. But we wondered: are you supposed to tip a magician? So, internet, what's the consensus? Tip the guy? Pull a quarter out of his ear? What's the deal? I mean, it's not like we were there for the magic. We were there because they pour beers so big it takes Jason both arms just to yank the giant mug off the table.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with The Cake Bible...Jason ordered it from Amazon for me; I've lusted after it for a long time, but wouldn't spend the $60 myself. Paired with some loud Madonna and a couple of generous glasses of red wine, and I'd say I have an enviable afternoon ahead. And if the result is something decadent and chocolate, all the better.

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