Vacation By Numbers

7: the number of smores consumed by Jamie.

18: number of marshmallows caught on fire by Jamie trying to make above smores.

5: number of perfectly toasted marshmallows dropped in the grass trying to get them from the fire to the graham cracker in order to make the above smores.




2: number of consecutive hours spent reading on the beach, catching some sun.

24: number of times Jason begged Jamie to apply solarcaine to his pink back.

24: number of times Jamie laughed cruelly at Jason.

47: number of times "Ack! I've got sand in my crotch!" was yelled throughout the campsite.


1: number of blue hammer-head shark-shaped shovels we brought with us to the beach. The other was alligator-shaped.

0: number of pails we brought with us to the beach. We did bring 2 planters, thinking they were pails. They mostly got the job done, except for the holes in the bottom.

14: number of children who looked at us enviously as we built our castles in the sand.

54: number of children who smirked at us as we built our castles in the sand.


21: number of times I said "Not now, everyone will hear."

21: number of times we did it anyway.



62: numbers of alcoholic beverages consumed by Jason.

8: number of times alcohol and lighter fluid were somehow combined.

1: number of hammers I broke with my brute strength chopping firewood.


6: times I woke up Jason because I heard strange noises on our site, and worried that we had uninvited guests.

6: times Jason reassured me it was "just the wind" and went back to sleep.

70: dollar amount of groceries stolen from us by raccoons (steak, bacon, cheese, cinnamon toast crunch cereal). Just the wind, eh?

2: number of "funny-tasting" poptarts I ate before identifying the funny taste as citronella.

4: number of poptarts thrown out uneaten after said discovery.


8 billion: number of mosquito bites I scratched until they were scabs, and then I scratched the scabs.

705: times I laughed at Jason's french pronunciation of the word 'fudge' while we were high.

81: number of waves that knocked me over.

79: number of times Jason took advantage of me being knocked over to pull down various parts of my bathing suit.


2: hours at home before we wished we could do it all over again.









More vacation photos here.