I should write. All kinds of potential topics are swirling about in my head, in a mucky whirlpool just waiting to be flushed out onto my blog, including:
1-August is almost over and I can't believe it. And not just in the way that people always say they can't believe it, but in the way that I truly cannot believe it because I barely remember it turning June.
2-The weather was crappy yesterday, so I painted indoors and dripped Royal Purple on the couch. And I can't even flip the cushion, for reasons that I don't care to remind myself.
3-I got this terrible blister on my thumb from mowing the lawn on Sunday. It actually didn't hurt while I was getting it, and only hurt a little once it swelled with fluid but I still used that thumb for raking, whipper-snippering, and sweeping the driveway of my neighbour because I thoughtlessly pointed the mower the wrong way, but then when it popped yesterday, oozing yucky puss everywhere, it suddenly because EXTREMELY SORE. And still is right now.
4-My grandparents got back from their trip to Vancouver B.C. to visit my uncle (their son) and his family, and so I heard the abbreviated summation of events. Which basically means that I tried to understand what the hell my Nanny was talking about. When she tells a story, you have to decipher as you go along, because the words get tangled up in her head. Like for example, when they went to ride the condos up Swizzler's Mountain, by which she of course meant ride gondolas up Whislter Mountain, and so if you're not doing some heavy mental work the entire conversation, you get left behind the dust rather quickly. But generally she leaves you time to catch up, like when she was telling me about the beautiful view out of my uncle's new office, and the room where he makes coffee, and the room where his secretary sits, and the offices for his lawyers - LADY LAWYERS - she corrects herself. Right. And of course, there's the fact that she mixes up names like crazy - mostly she called my uncle by my other uncle's name, and her daughers -in-law were reversed, and she kept calling my cousin Jeremy Jamie, which is me, but she didn't catch herself even though I was right there. This is really my mom's fault for calling me Jamie in the first place, because she named me after my uncle James, whom my Nanny called Jamie up until I was born, at which time he became Jim. Which is confusing for all of us. For years she called my aunt Tammy Pammy. I mean years. And she calls Jason Dave, and calls Dave Kevin, because all the boyfriends get muddled in her head, but it's awfully cute that she tries. But what is there to discourage her? She never knows she's wrong.
5- Betty was interred on Saturday. We didn't go. We didn't go because no one told Jason until Friday night. All of the rest of the family was there; they came in from all around the province. Everyone else knew weeks in advance. We did not know because Jason's dad cannot be bothered to write down our telephone number. We barely found out that his grandmother had died in the first place. Jason's dad is upset at Jason for not magically being able to get the time off. Jason doesn't bother getting upset at his dad, because this is how he is. He was so awful to Jason when Betty died I had to refrain from punching him in the teeth several times.
But actually, I won't write any of that. I have a million words in me today, but no direction. I started new medication. Did I forget to mention that? I started new meds and they're making me crazy because I cannot hold on to a single thought. Side effects: nausea, vomiting, severe headaches, heart palpitations, hot flashes, sheets of cold sweat, feelings of disassociation, agitation, panic attacks, mood swings, irritability. "The first week you'll think you're dying" says my doctor, "but you'll feel much better after that. And if you start to feel like your throat is closing, get to the ER immediately." Meanwhile, I'm making friends with my bathroom floor. I feel like I'm running in a race, and it's vitally important that I win, but everyone else gets to run on pavement while I am running underwater. And we can't tell how many of the side effects I'm really having because I'm generally irritable to begin with. But I did yell awfully loud at the turkey I was roasting yesterday for claiming to be pre-basted, whatever that means. So maybe that's a clue.