Behind the Blog: Elvis Kisses With His Eyes Open and Other Observations

My friend Kim, the lucky bitch, was whisked off to Hawai'i by her loving husband Jeffy (hint, hint, HINT!!!) and during her enviable absence, she asked several blogging buddies to take over for her. I was assigned the much-coveted 8th day, and so today the post on my site is a clever (?) look behind the scenes at The Making of the Blog.

As I said, I had the pleasure of covering the 8th day of her vacation. If you haven't read it yet, then please do so here. Feel free to leave Kim a comment and let her know that we all hate her for being in Paradise while the rest of us put up with spitting ice rain. And then get your asses back here to find out just how I was able to channel Kim and write about a vacation I know nothing about.



Writing this post posed a couple of problems for me, because:

a) Being the 8th day poster, 7 other esteemed bloggers have gone before me. So far on her vacation, Kim has been violated at the airport, arrested and jailed, taken up cheerleading, and gotten stuck in a compromising position for all the world to see. Seemingly, there aren't many other angles to cover. One vacation can only contain so much hilarity, right?

b) I've never been to paradise. In fact, I'm not even sure that I 100% believe that Hawai'i is a real place.

So what's a girl to do?

The only hint that Kim offered was that she'd be golfing it up in Maui. So to simulate the world- class golf courses on a majestic island, Jason and I went mini-putting at Crazy Al's hot dog shack and driving range. Good times.

I shaved my legs so I could wear a skirt and some flipflops. I found a plastic lei at the dollar store (sacrilegious I know, but hello, it's winter in Canada for crying out loud!). Oh sure, my toes turned blue before I even got into the car, and I got some pretty spiffy looks from other people, but this was not the first time, nor the last and Jason copes fairly well with this stuff by now.

In fact, he even bought me some fresh pink flowers to put in my "hair."

So we golfed, or we putted, or we goofed around and made out and moved our balls from hole to hole, and I won even though I totally held back in an effort to feed Jason's ego for once.

At home we made slushy drinks out of real Hawaiian punch, and then we ate seafood and had pineapple delight for supper. I took turns dancing to Jason's stylings on the ukelele, and then to my Lilo&Stitch soundtrack.

And then, completely by coincidence, MuchMoreMusic was playing Blue Hawai'i, which we watched for 4 whole minutes before I was so impressed with Elvis' smooching with his eyes wide open, and staring in fact at another woman all the while, that I had to practice the Elvis kiss on Jason, and pretty soon we were putting the lime in the coconut, if you know what I mean.

So we had a great day, but in the end I was largely uninspired. I mean, we spent a giggly day living the cold Canadian versions of several Hawaiian cliches, but I was pretty sure it would all pale in comparison to the real thing.

Did that deter me?

Well, if you read my post, you'll probably agree that it should have.

I wrote the thing anyway.

I always do.