Friday, June 13, 2014

For All the Fathers, Young and Old

I made and sent 4 father's day cards this year.
None were for my father.
Most days, if you were to ask me, I would not own up to having such a thing. A father.
In fact there was a man who fathered me. He was a bad man and most likely still is, but I pushed him out of my life and haven't looked back.
This post isn't about those kinds of fathers.
I have maybe been a little sensitive to the whole dad thing over the years. I feel melty just seeing a dad turn up for his kid. It gives me pause every single time I see a dad throwing a ball to his son, playing soccer with his daughter. There was a time I thought that was just a thing in movies, but I have since known many men, an inspiring and heartening number of men, who are those kinds of fathers.
It thrills me to see my brother-in-law softly kiss his son on the cheek.
To see my dear friend play princess with his daughter.
To see my father-in-law on the floor, building trains and playing superhero with his grand kids.
To hear my grandfather boasting about his great grandsons, of which he now has three.
And to see my mother's new husband, not trying to be our father, but being a strong, loving figure all the same. Willing to call us his family. Doting on grandkids who aren't his by blood but who couldn't love him more even if he was.
It's a blessing, a blessing a thousand times over, to have such wonderful men in my life.
Happy father's day to them all, to you all, and to my mother, who was all the dad and twice the mom I ever needed.


kenju said...

What a lovely post. I hope that all the dads you refer to here will see this and know how you feel about them.

I was fortunate to have a good father and my husband has been a very good one, as is my son. Two sons-in-law, however, are the dregs of society and don't deserve the title father. Bah on that kind!

Jude said...

I love this heartfelt post Jay! I was very lucky and had a great Dad (and Mom).

Bless your Mom for being so wonderful!

Julia said...

i glad there are some good men in your world. and I'm sorry that you did not get that from your own dad. that sucks. you rock. glad you are writing again, you courageous, wonderful, funny woman.