My Wife Could Beat Up Your Wife

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a guest blogger: my husband, Jason.
Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with the following, so if it sucks, don't blame me :)

You know all those movies that have the line "I'm the luckiest man in the world"? Well, here's a little secret, they're not. I have it on quite good authority that they are not, because in fact, I am. I don't have tonnes of money, or a huge mansion, or even good looks, but I do have Jamie. All the little stories in this blog are true, I have the smartest, prettiest, funniest, sexiest, cookingest, spontaneous, way coolest SuperWife on the planet. She even has the tights, cape and SW emblem on her chest and everything, she even made the costume! Is there anything this girl can't do? Well, catch a ball. It's not that she can't catch a ball, it's just that she plain ol' refuses to. If a ball happens to be thrown in her general direction she usually just moves off to one side. So as you can see, flawless. This should come as no surprise to anyone either, because if you've spoken with her, you'll know what I'm talking about. I'm also lucky because I'm no prize pig, actually, if you lined me up in a contest with 49 other pigs I may get "Most Improved" or maybe "Most Punctual" but no blue ribbon in this pigs' future.
She puts up with all my little and big idiosyncrasies. She also puts up with all the typical guy things I do, like trying to hover that last piece of trash on an already overflowing garbage can to when I leave the toilet seat up, or worse yet, when I forget to lift the lid before using it. Living at my house is the funnest thing ever too, in case you haven't read the earlier blogs, even teeth brushing is an experience. We have entertained ourselves for hours on end just doing impressions of one another. Mine usually go like this, " I'm Jamie Lee, blah blah blah, do what I say, blah blah blah". Sometimes we even do rude ones too. We pick on each other more then most people could imagine. If one of us is not giving the other a hard time then something is wrong. I also have become exactly 900,548% smarter since marrying this woman. She knows about everything and is good at explaining it to me, even if she needs to draw pictures sometimes for me to "get it". She didn't even laugh at me too hard when I asked if "A Tale of Two Cities" was about France and Seattle. She just sat me down and explained why I was so wrong and how I should never tell anyone about this story. I have even been around when she got her degree at university, so sometimes I like to think that I should get some sort of honorary degrees or something, they give those things out like candy to celebrities. Yeah, this girl puts up with a lot of my shiat, even when I use words like shiat. If you're ever out on the town and you see a guy who looks like the luckiest guy in the world and he's with a major hottie in a corn stalk dress, just stop us and say hello, or even bonjour, YES, this girl even speaks different languages. Me, I only speak English, which if Jamie were here she'd be rolling her eyes, saying "barely". She's probably right too because I tend to use words like:

1.Shiat
2.Biach
3.Shibby
4.Wang
5.Tromboner
6.Wes-Ley!
7.Crapola
8.Tits
9.Hiya
10.Oopsie Daisy

So, yeah, in spite of all my nonsense she's always right there, taping my Simpsons, making me a delicious dinner and telling me why I shouldn't laugh at the following literary authors' names:

Honore de Balzac
Martin Wank
Mu-Chou Poo

She's pretty, yeah........ pretty terrific. And she's all mine.


-Jason-

P.S: Honk!