Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Greetings Goat readers!

This is Rod and Chris and we have hijacked Jay's blog in honour of her [cough]th birthday!

We apologize in advance for the fact that we both suck at writing. In fact, Rod can barely read - but he makes an exception for Kill the Goat, because this is an exceptional blog, I think we can all agree.

Party hat or no, never ask a lady her age.

If you've been reading here for a while, then you know that Jamie is almost certainly Canada's next great writer, probably the best friend any of us could hope to have, and a prolific curser of seamen proportions. She's a doll, and we all love her.

But she's been going through a rough time lately. I think she's kept it purposely vague on the blog, but I think I can tell you that she's lost someone very close to her, been violently attacked, suffered more health setbacks, and continues to live through various repercussions of all these things. But she's so strong that she just keeps going, through more than any one person should have to live through, and she's only [cough] years old for heck's sake! Any one of us might easily have folded by now, but this girl doesn't know how to give up. She's still making us laugh, asking how we are, shaking her thing like there's no tomorrow (not that we were looking, Jason...well, okay, maybe Rod was a little), and as you read this she is literally helping the homeless. Can you believe that shit?

So, to make sure that this year is a better one for her, we've gone directly to the source (by which we mean her blog, as Jamie would never agree to having us "dumb down" her blog if we actually had asked permission) (by the way, Jay, your passwords are ABSURDLY easy to figure out) and we have it on the authority of a previous post that Jay wants nothing more in life than a new tattoo, and a lot more sex.


Please do not send pictures of your penis to her email account. As per her own rather loud admission in a crowded bar, Jay is currently having "the best sex of her life."

Today we are focusing on the new tattoo, and we're taking up a collection to make sure she gets it. If you would like to make a birthday contribution, click on the paypal donation button in the sidebar to your right. Also feel free to inundate her with birthday wishes and spread the word via your own blogs, and if you live in the GTA and know of a great place to have a tattoo, or could contribute original artwork, be sure to send those details along too.

Happy birthday, sweetie. We love you!

*****Jamie's Edit:

Aw, guys, you're making me all misty.
This has got to be one of the best birthday surprises ever - I don't think I've ever been gifted with hundreds of needles to rip apart my flesh before, and the fact that so many of you are willing to contribute to that pain and torture really means a lot. :)

It's true that my day did involve a crazy lady who chugged hand sanitizer, so my birthday festivities are really only just commencing. I've got a whole week of scoring free lunches planned ahead of me.

Oh, and boys - I am far too young to have to be coughing over my age already. Sheesh.

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