Thursday, July 26, 2007

Paltry Excuses for my Recent Non-Blogginess

1. Discovered a dormant addiction to guacamole.

2. Saw Travis at Kool Haus; was inspired by Doug Payne to die and come back as a bass guitar.

3. Carried around Homer Simpson's head on a wooden stick for the better part of a day.

4. Wasn't terribly surprised to hear that Patty the transvestite prostitute would be spending another night in jail.

5. Was enticed to eat overpriced ice cream pellets; forced to concede that they were good.

6. Realized that donating my crap clothes was a bad idea since ill-fitting clothes are still better than having my naked ass touch the grimy plastic of a subway seat.

7. Listened to a man cuss out his wife, loudly, via cell phone, on a jazz bar patio, for more than 30 minutes, while he pretended to be at the office and I polished off 3 drinks but not the whole plate of nachos because it was bigger than my head.

8. Did I mention the guacamole?

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