Most Fuckable This Week:
Yup, she's a chick, but damn, she's hot! Take a look. I'd totally do her. I don't know anyone who would turn down a steamy makeout section with the lovely, luscious Miss Keira Knightly.
Fucktard of the week:
Pope Benedict XVI
Even I can admit that putting the Pope in the same category as Britney Spears is a little harsh, but the truth is, any guy who names himself after eggs is an easy target.
1. He's Catholic and he's conservative. Two big strikes against him. He opposes birth control, women in the clergy, and homosexuality. Which pretty much makes him a bigot.
2. Have you seen his hat?
3. The Pope-Mobile is pretty much a joke in and of itself.
4. Pope merchandise. Okay, maybe I could ignore the t-shirts, the keychains, the posters, the plaques...but here's where the buck stops for me: a CD/DVD of papal prayers including 'performances by n'sync, Britney Spears, and Faith Hill.
Fucker of the week:
The Kabbalah (because I may as well make enemies out of all religious factions, right?)
I'm pretty cool with the Kabbalah from 10 years ago; what I don't like is any fad religion. You know, the kind of religions that are trendy to follow, if following means basically wearing a string and pretending to be spiritual in certain music videos.
I mean, it must be nice to be a skanky ho bag and then have it all absolved just by tying a string to your wrist. Pretty convenient, I'd say. Easier than going to confession, much easier than actually changing your lifestyle. And believe me, when I think 'devout', I definitely think Madonna. Don't you?