Friday, April 22, 2005

Friday Fuckfest

Most Fuckable This Week:

Yup, she's a chick, but damn, she's hot! Take a look. I'd totally do her. I don't know anyone who would turn down a steamy makeout section with the lovely, luscious Miss Keira Knightly.

Fucktard of the week:

Pope Benedict XVI

Even I can admit that putting the Pope in the same category as Britney Spears is a little harsh, but the truth is, any guy who names himself after eggs is an easy target.

Further evidence:

1. He's Catholic and he's conservative. Two big strikes against him. He opposes birth control, women in the clergy, and homosexuality. Which pretty much makes him a bigot.

2. Have you seen his hat?

3. The Pope-Mobile is pretty much a joke in and of itself.

4. Pope merchandise. Okay, maybe I could ignore the t-shirts, the keychains, the posters, the plaques...but here's where the buck stops for me: a CD/DVD of papal prayers including 'performances by n'sync, Britney Spears, and Faith Hill.

Fucker of the week:

The Kabbalah (because I may as well make enemies out of all religious factions, right?)

I'm pretty cool with the Kabbalah from 10 years ago; what I don't like is any fad religion. You know, the kind of religions that are trendy to follow, if following means basically wearing a string and pretending to be spiritual in certain music videos.

I mean, it must be nice to be a skanky ho bag and then have it all absolved just by tying a string to your wrist. Pretty convenient, I'd say. Easier than going to confession, much easier than actually changing your lifestyle. And believe me, when I think 'devout', I definitely think Madonna. Don't you?

No comments: