Friday, May 26, 2006

Friday Fuckfest Does Sex and the City

{For Jen, who arrived with her library of SATC DVDs and knew without a doubt that I'd have a fridge full of cosmos, and who needs to remember that life, like the show, is only superficially about men (the loving AND the hating of them) - in the end, it's your friends that count.}

He's suave, moneyed, and debonair, and I hope to god they called him Mr. Big for a reason...

Still, Mr. Big was never my favourite.

I know, I know, I can hear the boos all the way from here.

But while it may be true that Big and Carrie were meant to be, it has to be said that he's not good enough for me, and he sure as hell ain't good enough to make the Most Fuckable cut.

Chris Noth's impish smile might dazzle me for a moment or two, but to make my list, you need to be more than just handsome. Big is a womanizer. He's elusive and ambivalent. He wants her the most when he can't have her. Sound like anyone you know? Yes, most likely: why do we women always fall for the men who are no good for us?

And why do we push away those that are?

Kyle MacLachlan is much handsomer off the show - as Charlotte's husband Doctor Trey, I could never get past the stick up his ass to like him much.

I did, however, love the exercise my eyebrow got (you know, the one I cock slightly to show disdain) when we found out he was impotent. Few of us had any pity on him - he was so smug that my smugmometer nearly exploded.

But his character did allow us all to vent about the impossibleness of mothers-in-law, and it taught us how to achieve the very best that divorce settlements have to offer.

Steve, on the other hand, was easy to like. I was pulling for Steve and Miranda from day one, probably because they're complete opposites. But he's also one of those unfailingly good guys that any seasoned dater has ceased to believe exist.

He's funny and endearing, and touchingly handsome with a baby cradled in his arms, and even a cynic like Miranda couldn't help but see his merits in the end.

Bottom line: he's actually there for her when she needs him.

Jerry Jerrod....Jerrod Smith....Jason Lewis...a hottie by any name.

And, when the cards were down, a pretty decent fellow.

I mean, it was fabulous to see any man actually not giving in to temptation.
Fabulouser still when he stuck by his girl in sickness and in health.
But most fabulous of all when you see one person bring out the best in another.

Aiden! Who didn't love Aiden? Well, except for Carrie, who clearly is not only blind but retarded aswell.

I have always had a soft spot for John Corbett, but as Aiden, he was IT. Pre-heartbreak, he was a free spirit, an artist, tender, respectful....just yummy.

But when he came back to the show, scarred and shorn, he was a new man, but entirely still worthy. In fact, when your biggest problem with a guy is that he's too faithful, that he's not just there for you, but also for your friends, and he's not afraid of intimacy...I think the problem actually lies with you.

But while I love Aiden, I can forgive Carrie. Because even if he's a good guy, even if he's good to you, it doesn't mean he's good for you. He wasn't the one. She gave up 'good' and found her 'perfect'. And that's what it's all about.

But the real success of SATC is not the men and their various charms.

It's the women, the girlfriendliness, the gossip and disclosure.

So for a moment, let's discuss:

a) The goodie drawer: Do you have one?
We have a goodie nightstand. When the mother-in-law came to visit, I cleaned it out, put everything "questionable" into a locked safe in another room. On her second night's stay, she asked me why we had an empty nightstand by the bed. I tried my best not to blush. I mean, my fears were founded - she did look.

b) Farting in front of the boyfriend/girlfriend: end of the world? end of the relationship? the beginning of intimacy?
If you've been here before, then you know that Jason doesn't fart. Damn him. I'm actually pretty unembarrassed by bodily functions. I accepted his proposal only on the condition that he could learn to pee in front of me (he did). I just can't stand the thought of a permanently closed door. That being said, I do remember the first time I farted in front of Jason. Everything went quiet for a moment, and then I laughed uncontrollably.

c) Faking it: have you? would you? could you?

d) Circumcision: necessary?

e) Ugly sex: have you ever slept with an ugly man or woman? Did you admit it to anyone?

f) Bad breakups: Carrie was dumped via a post-it note. What is the worst you have done, or received?

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