Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Tequila Makes It Hurt A Little Less

Day Three in the MIL invasion series...

A dusting of snow greeted us on Saturday morning, so I grabbed my chance. While Jason and his Mom "warmed up" the car, I cleared it of snow. Sure my fingers went numb and I got mud on my shoes, but it was a whole 6 minutes of glorious alone time! I have never cleaned anything so thoroughly in my life. I wish I could have cleaned off 6 more cars just to avoid getting back in ours and driving off for another day of forced laughter and restrained swearing.

We went to the Ontario Science Centre, which I have loved since I was a child. Unfortunately, 3 million other people also had this brilliant idea before we did, and apparently they all got their butts in gear before us too. It was to be a half hour wait just for the privilege of paying $8 for parking. Have I mentioned how much fun it is to just sit around and kill time with my husband's mother? I began searching my messenger bag for any instrument of death, no matter how blunt, no matter how ineffectual...I would saw if I had to.

Luckily, before I got around to shedding blood, we got in. We learned some interesting things:

1. Jason has excellent reflexes.
2. I should have been a dentist.
3. Kids are annoying.
4. Mothers-in-law are annoying.
5. I have a super human grip.

Actually, Jason claims to have known that last one for sure for a long, long time now. His Mom shot him a look which he patently ignored.

The nice thing about having Jason around is that he will do all the "participation" exhibits so that I have the benefit of seeing them in action without discovering anything embarrassing about myself.

Here we see that Jason is not a flexible guy. However, the guy that got on after him fell right off. It makes me wonder what about males makes them so gung-ho about straddling the unknown.

Actually, that came out like something different entirely.

So after I marveled over the size of a pickled elephant heart, but before I fondled the tornado, we took a quick trip through the rainforest. You could tell it was a rainforest because it fogged up my camera. This is a bad picture of Jason and his Mom in the rainforest but it's the only one I took because while taking it, a big lizard scurried across the floor between photographer and subject, sending photographer sprinting through a waterfall just to escape it. Perhaps someone screamed like a little girl. Perhaps someone else laughed cruelly in response. Like I said, good times at the science centre.

Space totally sucked, as it turns out. We even went star walking with Morgan Freeman in our socks, and still it sucked balls. Oh well.

We redeemed ourselves with spelunking, but only after I got some assurance that there were no bats in this cave. It was quiet and dark, so Jason and I got in all the groping we possibly could in 30 seconds, before we reemerged into the whale bones and algae-growing exhibit.

Lastly I satisfied my fascination with cheesy giftshops. I was overwhelmed trying to choose between a bone pen and a stuffed germ, and ended up getting nothing. Jason got a fortune telling plant - apparently, once he grows it, it will reveal his fortune on its leaf.

Then we went home for Mexican night, which is
my favourite because margarita glasses are much larger than wine glasses. Boy were we drunk. I'm not sure if Nancy noticed that Jason and I kept drinking (gulping, really) long after she did.

Also, when I made us our lava cake dessert, I realized that the raspberries were missing. I paid $5 for 16 raspberries, and somehow misplaced them sometime between the cash register and the dessert plate. Phooey, eh?

Ah well. Eventually I slipped into my SpongeBob pjs and slept all my cares away...

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