6587 porn files deleted off of my father-in-law's computer. Why can even the most computer-illiterate Dad find the porn, but never erase it?
365 days until I'm allowed back into The Body Shop. Note to self: when they say 'no sex in the champagne room', they mean business.
103 kilometers put on the car so far today, just driving around the city, and with gas at 80 cents per liter, I suggest we take up snow-shoeing.
89 times Jason let the song 'Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows' (from The Simpsons) stay on repeat. My ear started bleeding after the first 12.
36 times I've corrected Jason - Him: "Are we going to go see Hutch tonight?" Me: "Hitch?" Him: "Do not correct me, woman!"
35 times I've been punched for correcting him; the single time I got away with it, he was busy flipping off some lady with 11 Jesus bumper stickers on her car.
23 times I asked Jason to bring out the recyclables before I did it myself. I cut myself crushing cans and have collected muchos sympathy since.
19 crotch shots and 12 butt shots have accumulated on the digital camera since Jason picked it up an hour ago (all his own).
17 pennies have choked up the vacuum so far today. Damn these brown carpets! Damn them to hell!
15 slices of pizza consumed by Jason for lunch. Plus 12 bread sticks and 2 Pepsis and 0 beers because he forgot he wanted one and I neglected to remind him.
6 Walmart employees were consulted before finding one who knew what a bungee cord is.
4 hours late (and counting) is our dear friend the plumber. Is anyone surprised?
3 grocery stores were pillaged in order to find chives. Where have all the chives gone? And no, Jason, they're not "sorta" the same as dill.
3/4 of a Boston cream pie has "mysteriously" disappeared in the past 24 hours. My guess is that it has found a home in the abyss that is my Hungry Hubby.