Tuesday, February 08, 2005

VD is not as bad as you think it is.

No, this is not a post that exults the lesser-known benefits of genital warts. That's for another day. Today I would like to address all the people who flipped their calendars from January to February and immediately assumed their whiny bitch attitudes.

Yes, Valentine's Day is coming. Yes, it's a highly commercialized quasi-holiday that encourages people to trade in their right kidneys to Hallmark and the neighbourhood florist's in an effort to out-cheese each other and make the rest of the world gag in response. You don't like it? Fine. But shut yer trap about it.

Every 3rd person feels the need to "boycott" the day, badmouth the sentiments it represents, and crucify anyone who ever considered buying those candy hearts. Give me a break. It's a sweet holiday. How can anyone be bitter about a day on which people are loving and romantic? You don't have to participate, but you don't have to ruin it for everyone else, either. If the lady in the cubicle next to you has pink construction paper hearts with glitter and doilies attached, indulge her. If your best friend prattles on about the 3 dozen roses he bought for his girlfriend, be happy for him. If your grandmother sends you a Valentine in the mail with a $5 cheque to buy yourself a treat, don't roll your eyes; appreciate it, it's nice. It's nice, dammit.

When February creeps up on people, they revert to their 3rd grade selves. They secretly worry that their cubby will be the only empty one and to save themselves from that possible embarrassment, they pronounce the holiday to be unfit. It's a defense mechanism. It's a silly one.

We don't really get into the whole big hoopla around here. I don't decorate. We don't buy roses or chocolate. I'm pretty sure we'll have dinner, but then, that's a nightly thing for us. Maybe we'll have a bottle of wine, or dessert. We'll probably say "Happy Valentine's day" and kiss. Maybe Jason will even get lucky and get a cuddle out of me (god I hope not). But at any rate, it's nice to be romantic. It's nice to think of a meal my husband will really appreciate, and make it for him. It's nice to send my friends goofy Valentines that we're much too old for. We all get a kick out of them. It's nice to call someone and say 'I'm thinking of you.' It's nice to decorate a few heart-shaped cakes for friends. Valentine's day doesn't have to be an over-the-top, overpriced, overrated occasion. Expectations are set individually. Do what makes you feel good. But having a black day where you walk around with a huge chip on your shoulder is in poor taste. There's no need to rain on anyone's parade.

I for one will be walking around with a vat of those little cinnamon hearts. I will pelt them at anyone who doesn't have a smile for me. And believe me, those little suckers will raise quite a welt.

Peace out.


Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Hi Jay- well said. This is one of my fave holidays because it's for all ages, friends, & family plus nice reasons for choco, BUT I place no expectations nor do I like to hear griping. Whining defeats the reason for loving... Besides "VD" should be all yr long. (Not the holiday- the attitude should be.) I wish my friends Happy "VD" so they'll laugh @ the double entendre.

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

You know, I think many people have a fear that someone out there has it better...more money, more sex, more fun...
On VD there are more indications that these fears have a concrete backing and the imperfections of your own life seem highlighted. Total defense mechanism, you're right.
But, it's not cool to wreck someone else's party.
And blue hair, aye? I tried that but it just looked grey on my head; I looked kinda witchy. Did you find a *really blue* dye?

Jay said...

In general, I love Tish&Snooky's Manic Panic hair gel dyes...I think I've had in every colour they have, except the yellow, seems pointless. Right now, I have a dark black-blue, courtesy of L'Oreal's Deep Indigo, which is a gorgeous colour, I've had lots of compliments on it, only problem is that I've had to redye every 2 weeks though it's supposedly permanent.

sarily said...

I've always like Valentine's Day

When I was little I got to give out Smurf valentine cards.

When I was older and single I got to go out for nice dinners with my friends or family. I also gave out ridiculous kid valentine's day cards.

Now that I'm not so single. I'm going to go out for dinner w/ my boy and friends and I'll give out slightly less ridiculous valentine's day cards.

Oh, and I'm a big fan of having chocolate hearts to give out to everyone I see - for at least the 14 days leading up to the day. Hurray for special days that you can show you care!

Rimmy said...

Bah, I'll take the beats. I don't like Valentine's Day. Know why?

Because we (Significant Other and myself) kind of live every day in an idealized Valentine's state. We make the time for each other (which is mostly effortless, but when schedules get tight you DO need to make the time), and still our hearts go aflutter when we meet each other's eyes.

So then Valentine's Day comes along, and everybody breathlessly asks "What are you going to do for it?"

Well, more of the same I guess. But that's a disappointing answer to all of those pink paper hearts with glitter putter uppers.

So for us (we don't dislike you who get enthusiastic about it of course), it's like being year-long givers to charity having to listen to someone breathlessly exclaim that they gave a can of beans to the food bank at Christmas time.

One day a year? Pffft. Get the lead out and make it EVERY day of the year.

The mind-blowing sex is worth it. ;)

Vics said...

Rimmy - that comment alone would have been a winner in my book LOL
and Jay, you say I'm nuts?
"I for one will be walking around with a vat of those little cinnamon hearts. I will pelt them at anyone who doesn't have a smile for me. And believe me, those little suckers will raise quite a welt."
You crack me up babe... just for the record - I'm allergic to cinnamon, you trying to kill me?!

amy said...

I think I kinda agree with Rimmy on this one. I for one HATE Valentine's Day, and not because as a senior in high school I got dumped on VD, but because I think it's a total sham. I think it's stupid to *pretend* that everything is hunky dorey for one day of the year, which is why I always tell my husband to not buy anything for me. I'd much rather him work his ass off being nice the entire year through than to just get off with February 14.

And I still send Valentines to my parents and my best friend. Hell, I might even blog one to my blogging buddies. But I do think like Rimmy, that it should be an EVERY DAY thing, not just one day out of 365.

Chick said...

Can I have some of those cinnamon hearts to pelt at people?! I could really get into the spirit of that ; )

Kelly said...

with less than a week to go before the hearts explode and florists are drained, the crunch time has applied pressure to the masses.

just this morning! while reading the free newspaper commuters snatch up, i saw dozens of articles and ads encouraging over-the-top celebrations. fine. celebrate with those who like to. [i do.] butt! there were all those articles for the singles...

lists of things to do to keep your mind off the single-state you currently find yourself in.

that's the stuff i don't get. it is, as you say, a quasi-holiday and should encourage loved ones to celebrate with other loved ones. but if you think you are not part of a loved one grouping, then don't let it get you down! there aren't any signs us singletons have to wear to say we aren't sharing smooches and hearts with others.

we aren't ridiculed.

so, and i say this with minimal aggression, get over it! if it's just you alone next monday, no big deal! you'll wake up tuesday, and you'll be just as well off as the people who celebrate the one day their love got celebrated.

too, get one step ahead of them: celebrate the love for yourself everyday. or love for something other than yourself, if you'd like. a lonely VD doesn't have to mean despair.

happy early valentine's day to everyone!

Jay said...

Right on, Kel. I don't think VD is about pretending to love anyone. I will most likely love Jason on VD, as he knows I do every other day. It's not a sham, it's a celebration. Like St Patty's day. You're not just Irish just one day a year (some of us are not Irish at all), but it's nice to have one day to really appreciate it. Or for Christiand, celebrating Christmas doesn't mean that you only love Jesus one day a year. The point is to have time to celebrate it, because people so rarely take the time out to say "I LIKE YOU!"
And of course, if you're single, so what? There's a misconception that VD is only for couples. But if you're not part of one, or if like me, you'll be spending it alone anyway, you make it a celebration of love in general, for your family, your friends, yourself. How anyone can hate a holiday that's about love, I'll never know.

Looking back at the collection of Valentines I've received, because you know I scrapbook them all (Anna, Sarah, Mom, Grandma, Melanie, MIL, Jason), it's one from Melissa that sums up the day best: "Sending a little sunshine from me to you."

Fidget said...

Jay about the blue hair. If you can wash your hair in luke warm water and use Fashionista shampoo and conditioner. It's so totally worth the money. My hair is wrong red and the fashionista has been the best at maintaining boldness for a longer length of time. You probably will have to go into a salon to get it. It's purple, usually located near the bed head shampoo. The smell is weird, sorta like shower fresh grape (im not a fan of fake grape flavor or smell) but its been relativly easy to get used to. on the topic of VD I dislike the fact that the price of flowers jumps 75% and 60% of the population walks around in a sourt mood. Troy and i met 2 days before VD so we celebrate on the 12th... VD we just act ourselves maybe throwing in a "happy VD" to each other. Could you please pelt me with Dove dark chocolate hearts instead?

Darlene said...

We are the same, we don't go overboard, but we do recognize it's a special day for the ones we love. We will probably have a candlelight dinner with the kids.

I think as I grow older and less attractive, my husband is starting to see the romance in candlelight dinners.

Harry said...

Well, good gosh amighty, J. Right off, I have two complaints, so go ahead -- dip yer hand in the bowl of hearts and stand by to hurl, Erlene.

First, stop with the long titles. Heck, I can't read and understand when I am laughing so damn hard.

Second, I hear that this year the wise guys in the Madison Avenue hood are adding phrases to the little candy hearts like, "Yo momma" and "Shizzle my Stick", or something along those lines. Screw them.

Now, toss a few this way and see if I can't catch them with my mouth. Oh, and here...take this: "Be my valentine"

JeN said...

Oh, I'll be bitter about it. Feel free to pelt me with cinnamon hearts. I'm sure I'll toss some 5$ Hallmark cards back atcha. Nasty papercuts, those!

Maybe I can ship my roommate off to you for "the big day" since she and her epidermis extension adore it. I am going to spend the day vomiting and avoiding the world.

And I won't forget to act sour either! ^_^

The only thing I do like is the conversation hearts. They're yummy and they only come out this time of year.

Woody said...

For Valentines Day I buy $20 worth of scratch tickets and hide them throughout the house. My wife has a blast finding them all!

Jay said...

Darlene, don't you be talking like that round here! I do think it's great that you involve your kids though.

Awww, Harry, you old softie.

And Woody, that's a lovely idea. I am a terrible hider and an even worse seeker, so Easter presents enough of a challenge for me already in that department. That said, I love getting surprise scratch tickets. I think once I get a lucky loonie, I could scratch compulsively!

random-girl said...

I don't have anything against VD (though yes, it can be over-commercialised - last year one restaurant decided it was fit to charge $18 for a glass of ice water...oh sure, it came in a pretty glass... whatever). And yeah, people who walk around with a chip on their shoulder should be shot, but the ones who BRAG should be the ones who are crucified.

I am going to declare WW3 if I come across another pretty-face bimbo who pulls out all her flowers, Valentine cards, teddy bears, chocolates, candy hearts and everything else in pink, lace or ribbons; complain that she doesn't have the time to reply to everyone and then patronisingly turn and ask "What did you get, dear?"

Get a life.

Monica said...

coooooolllll, I read the beginning to My David, we are not sure of the date of his operation for his Tumor, but It might be in time for Valentines day!!!!

and yes he might lose his right kidney for it, partial or all of it, were not sure!

(dont worry he laughed at it!!!)

Cal the Wonderdog said...

Wow, so interesting reading all of these thoughts. I'm still no closer to understanding any of it. But I like Woody's idea.

Us dogs know this game as the great "Challenge Feed" "cause it's done with our dinner not stinking pieces of paper with writing on them.

If you want a real good time, celebrate Valentines Day with a Challenge Dinner. Simply make some nice appetizers, a steak, maybe some seafood, a chocolate cake, etc. and hide pieces of these all around the house. Then watch your loved one writhe in determination and ecstasy as he/she searches and discovers the wonderful meal you have hidden in the various rooms in your house!

And don't limit yourself here, there are so many possibilities. If you think your hubby/wife has a extraordinary sense of smell and playfulness, hide his/her beer or wine out in the snow and after they have found a few pieces of steak and chocolate cake, send them outside to the back yard to look for it. This will give you time to set up the agility course in the living room for the big Valentine's finale.

If your significant other doesn't absolutely think you are the best thing since milk bones by this point, maybe try that box of chocolates or stinking paper with writing on it. But at least do SOMETHING different this year!


transience said...

i never really understood all the fuss about VD until i turned 20. oh wait...maybe that's why i never got me a real boyfriend until then.