So here they are, because for once I'm being a joiner and going along with the crowd, 100 things you never wanted to know about me, some of which even surprised myself.
1. When there is a scene in a movie with a man shaving, I can’t watch. I don’t trust that his neck will come out uninjured.
2. I have a big scar on my knee from when a boy pushed me while I was double-dutch skipping. When I came home, my mother yelled at me for ripping my new green jeans (yeah, I know: coloured denim, tsk, tsk).
3. I’ve had 2 poems and 2 essays published, and they’re all painfully embarrassing.
4. I wish I had brown eyes.
5. There was a lot of nudity at my wedding. I saw a lot of boobies. I, however, wore a proper wedding gown, something I NEVER thought I would do.
6. I started taking ballet lessons when I was 2 ½ years old.
7. I haven’t eaten movie popcorn since my friend Caroline told me about the fuzzy mould in the butter spout at the theatre where she worked 4 years ago.
8. Jason and I used to go to Mexi’s on Rideau and drink great big margaritas before doing groceries at 11am on Sunday mornings.
9. When I was a kid, I had a recurring nightmare that I was trapped in a circus tent that was on fire.
10. I know how to make balloon animals and hats.
11. When I was very young, I told my mother I was my school’s Carnival Princess. She excitedly told everyone. She soon learned that I had lied. She made me call my grandma and apologize for lying; my cheeks burned with shame the next 4 or 5 visits.
12. I don’t think Martha Stewart belongs in jail.
13. I don’t know how to apply eye-liner.
14. I’ve never so much as tried a cigarette, but my mother smoked throughout all 4 of her pregnancies. When I was young, I used to get every ear and throat infection going. My mother would blow smoke in my ear to make it feel better. Then one day she quit cold turkey.
15. I thought cold turkey actually involved eating lots of turkey.
16. I have some tattoos. Only Jason knows exactly how many. I want more.
17. I have a great big birth mark on my back, it takes up maybe a third of the real-estate back there; it grew with me. I used to love to have my sister trace the outline of it. Now you can barely make it out.
18. My favourite colour is pink. My favourite day is Monday. My favourite number is 8.
19. I’m addicted to learning.
20. I despise feminism; I’m a humanist.
21. I cannot primp in the mirror. In fact, I cannot look at myself in a mirror without making faces.
22. I used to have dozens of shoeboxes filled with ‘memories’: ticket stubs, fabric swatches, pictures, letters, other mementos. I have since learned to scrapbook those memories. I only have one shoebox to contain the present-day memories-in-the-making, and to date I have filled 12 scrapbooks.
23. My flair for the dramatic comes out in my personal appearance, whether it’s the blue hair, or the feather boas, it’s noticeable. I don’t blend in. I don’t like uniformity. No wonder my in-laws hate me. :)
24. I hate cell phones. I have owned 37 of them; my husband has worked for 3 different cell phone companies, and I still hate them as much as ever.
25. I’m overly sensitive and have a bad (short) temper.
26. I forgive too easily.
27. I’ve been proposed to twice; I accepted once.
28. I married my first love.
29. I’m very good at a lot of things, but if I’m not very good at doing something right away, I give up. I don’t like doing things I’m not very good at, like math, or most sports.
30. The whole socks and sandals thing really cheeses me off.
31. I have never seen any of the Star Wars movies, and I plan to keep it that way. I did, however, have Star Wars sheets, with Harrison Ford on them.
32. My hearing is horrible. Just having something near my ear can totally render me deaf.
33. I wore glasses for a while, despite having great vision. The problem was criss-crossed optical nerves, and the strain gave me migraines. I hated my glasses, primarily because my head is so small I have to wear children’s glasses. My first pair were Nintendo-brand, my second, Peanuts (as in Charlie Brown). This was so humiliating that I just stopped wearing them, and now I deal with the migraines.
34. I sleep naked but I have to sleep with at least a sheet covering me. On really hot nights, I arrange it so it still lies across my stomach, but not touching much else. I cannot do without.
35. I have a knack for remember useless things, but not my own postal code. If IQ tests were based on the TV-Guide crossword puzzle, I’d be set for life.
36. I get bored quickly. I have to multi-task all the time.
37. I make friends easily, and I tend to keep them.
38. I don’t like apologizing, mostly because I never think I’m wrong.
39. I’m a born walker. I can walk for hours everyday, and often do.
40. I’m a born reader. Lately I have embarked on a long list of the ‘classics’; I read about 130 books in 2004.
41. After 10 years of Catholic school, I realized that I don’t believe in organized religion.
42. I love cocky men.
43. I cannot put down a book or shut off a movie just because it’s bad. I MUST see it through to the end. I hate that about myself – what a waste!
44. I like kids well enough, if they’re cute, clean, and quiet…but I don’t want any of my own.
45. I wish I could experience pregnancy and childbirth without necessarily having a kid.
46. I hate my birthday, and I love everyone else’s.
47. I always describe myself as patient, even though it’s totally not true. I aspire to be though.
48. When I was little, I called my grandmother Eva Baby, and everyone thought it was pretty funny.
49. I rarely miss an opportunity to share my opinion, and I enjoy having an opinion that differs from most peoples’.
50. Most of the spelling mistakes I make err toward the French spelling since I first learned to read and write in that language.
51. I lather and rinse, but I never repeat.
52. I once threw up pink.
53. I remember my 3 sisters and I, all sitting in the back of a Chevette, singing along to “Barbara Ann” by the Beach Boys.
54. If I had a plot of land, I would plant myself an herb garden and love it dearly, but probably would be lazy about the weeding.
55. Women I find sexy: Penelope Cruz, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Selma Hayek.
56. I once sat on a caterpillar. I was 5, my mother was in the hospital giving birth, so my father drove me to my grandmother’s for her to pluck the pickies out of my bum. The car ride there was very painful.
57. I refuse to admit that 1995 was 10 years ago.
58. I believe that at this point, money WOULD buy my happiness.
59. Bands I’ve seen live: silverchair, Smashing Pumpkins, The Watchmen, Big Wreck, Tea Party, Creed, Foo-Fighters, Green Day, Moist, Bif Naked, Sloan, The Barenaked Ladies, Holly McNarland, Econoline Crush, the Killjoys, The Matthew Good Band, Blink 182, Finger Eleven, Treble Charger, Hole, Everclear, Wide Mouth Mason, Blur, Elastica, Collective Soul, Garbage, A Perfect Circle, Sum 41, Eve 6, Filter, Catherine Wheel, Deftones, and a lot more that I’ll never remember because I’ve been to all-day events, like Edgefest and Summersault…not to mention the dozens of times I’ve seen my favourite band, Our Lady Peace!!
60. I once got a skate in the mouth. It took out most of my front tooth, and lots of gum and lip. You can’t tell, but half of my front tooth was rebuilt.
61. I think small things are more polite. For example, I have a travel-sized mouth wash container that I refill from the bigger bottle, which I keep hidden in the cupboard under the sink. The same goes for a lot of things around my house. I also think it’s funny to see little things in Jason’s big hands.
62. Anyone who thinks milk is a mixer is crazy.
63. I can’t stand eye stuff. I don’t want to look at them, hear about them, admit that they exist. And for goodness sake, don’t put your contacts on in front of me!
64. I love Christopher Guest movies.
65. I used to have spiky hair. The spikes made slow-dancing interesting.
66. My first pair of Doc Martens are among my most prized possessions.
67. I’ve cried at every wedding I’ve ever been to, except my own. I made ‘no crying’ a very strict rule at mine. I am an ugly crier.
68. Kimi is my Hawaiian name.
69. I went up in a hot-air balloon ride for my 18th birthday. It was much smoother than I thought. ‘Landing’, if you can call it that, was the scariest part.
70. I know that blisters from a sunburn sprayed with champagne hurt like a bitch.
71. I wish I could play the piano.
72. When I was small, I was traumatized by an episode of Highway To Heaven when an old lady is almost eaten by a snake in your toilet bowl. To this day, I must look before sitting. Every time.
73. Some nicknames I’ve gone by: James, Mister, Spike, Jamiebear, Muffin Cups, and my personal favourite, just plain J.
74. I like the smell of skunk.
75. When I was in high school, I thought it was worth it to wake up 2 hours before the sun to do my hair extra-nice. By university, I learned to just say ‘fuck it’.
76. My parents always told me that I was adopted; they said they traded a bucket of chicken for me at a gas station on an Indian reserve.
77. I like plain cheese pizza.
78. I really, really, really want a pink KitchenAid stand mixer.
79. I think vegetarians who wear leather shoes/belts/handbags are hypocrites.
80. My mother never thought buying ‘those expensive cereals’ was important to our well-being, and I longed to try Corn Pops. When I was 17, my best friend bought me a box of them for Christmas. My sisters ate them all and I went without for another 4 years.
81. My first memory is of a punch bowl. Its contents are red. That’s it.
82. I will never be bored on my own. I’ve staged full-theatre productions just in the space of my own head.
83. I’ve also staged many productions outside the realm of my head; I wrote plays and performed with my sisters and cousins, including a musical review of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.
84. Apart from Joseph, I’ve also seem Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, and many others all before the age of 12 (including some Shakespearean production at the Stratford Festival Theatre).
85. I hate watches. When we went on our honeymoon, I made my husband leave his watch at home. He hasn’t worn one since.
86. I don’t like foods to touch on my plate.
87. I hate rough drafts. When some courses required them, I would just insert some errors and such into my final (and only) draft.
88. I don’t like using the phone. I really, really don’t like it. My close friends know to email me instead. If urgency is an issue, call and talk to Jason!
89. I can’t leave boxes unpacked. I need to get it all done right away. I can never leave anything until tomorrow. I am an organizer for sure.
90. I don’t like the taste of purple. Purple gum, freezies, candies, Tylenol, whatever, it all grosses me way out. I abhor grape juice. I like wine, and actual grapes.
91. I can read in the car. I can read anywhere, really, except in a library.
92. I know what a vas deferens looks like, and smells like when it’s on fire.
93. As much as I love to have my home well-organized, I also yen towards the chaotic (chaos is also one of my tattoos, by the way). When we play Monopoly, I don’t let Jason sort his money. I goop it all together, shuffle it all about, and it drives him crazy.
94. I am not fond of Monopoly. In what way can this be considered a game? It’s not even fun!
95. I don’t have a fear of heights. I do have a fear of falling. From heights. I don’t like to be picked up by my 6’1 husband.
96. My marriage certificate is in a language I don't speak.
97. I have clothing-claustrophobia. I can’t wear heavy sweaters. I can’t wear turtlenecks. I brave snowstorms in at most a hoodie because I abhor coats, scarves, mittens, hats, and the like.
98. I’ve never had a single cavity.
99. When I was prom queen, my hair matched my dress perfectly; both were pink.
100. I love making lists.