Thursday, January 13, 2005

Madame La Dropski Strikes Again

Last night, somewhere between the third and fourth pitchers of daiquiris, a spill so magnificent in its execution, so far-reaching in its scope and so complete in its utter devastation that it may appropriately be called The Perfect Spill, did in fact count among its clutches this very computer, the keyboard in particular.

Hopefully a better post will follow later today, if the left quadrant can be saved. The mysterious Ctrl key is hanging on surely only by its sheer will to mystify once again, but it is quickly declining, too sluggish to go on this way for long, and when pressed, it oozes a red substance not unlike blood (but much more like strawberry daiquiri).

As the keyboard slips quietly away, Dr. Jason will work furiously against time with his trusty Q-tip to save Q through R, A through F, Z through C, Shift, Alt, Caps lock...but can he do it? Will the E ever E again? Which ones will be sacrificed? Will X give up its rights so that S can go on and pluralize the world with all its essy goodness? And will Ctrl ever be the same again?

Stay tuned to find out...

16 comments:

citygurl said...

have I mentioned that you are brilliantly funny? I really hope the E is ok, everyone loves to E, I mean, loves the E.

Jay said...

uh-huh
:)
Slip of the tongue, right?

You're a cutie!

pinkme said...

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune. Did you get another drink? HEHEHE, I do hope your keyboard dries out.

Harry said...

Last night I had two of those yellow Mexican beers. The left side of my brain's CLRL key felt similarly for awhile.

Jay said...

Of course I did, Pink! After all, it was Wednesday night, and having not worked a day in 2 years, I really deserved it.

And Harry, dearest Harry, I do hope you have recovered all of your functions.

My keyboard is still kaput.

Woody said...

Outstanding Blog - you have an awsome writing style. I put this on my favorites list too. Have a good day - woody

No_Newz said...

After about two solid weeks of lurking here (after you commented on one of my posts), I thought it was high time I said you are a very good writer!
I also wanted to say spilling is the first form of "alcohol abuse" unless you are spilling it down your throat. ;)
Lois Lane

JeN said...

Did you make yourself another drink to help cope with the misfortune of the keyboard? I would've!

I hope the keys will all turn out okay.

-raindrops- said...

OMG jay! this is way too funny.Ü i was giggling uncontrollably all throughout. hyuk! hyuk! hyuk!

---that was such a good laugh. thanks! i shall now return to my solemn stance and go pray for your keyboard's recuperation.

Brandie said...

Hey, I've got a wireless keyboard I never use. Just say the word...

I'm adding you to my blogroll, btw, so I can keep reading. :)

Phillip said...

it's a difficult thing to wrangle the keys from a keyboard, but remember that friends don't let friends drive drunk. My gay uncle spilled a mojito on himself seven years ago and drove straight into a post office on his way home. The q-tips were of no assistance.

Jay said...

Thanks Woody!

To Lois, you are a lurker, yikes! Actually, what you said about me abusing the alcohol is true, and I'm sorry.

Dear Smirnoff: so sorry to have wasted you! You have been so good to be all these years, I should not be repaying you by throwing you around.

Jen, I drink to cope with almost everything, so: YES!

Oh Rain, how could you laugh at a time like this? I think the poor E deserves your tears. We're all in mourning here.

Brandie, you are too sweet. I mean that.

Thanks for the advice, P, but it's not necessary here. Not only do I not drive drunk, but I don't even drive.

random-girl said...

Damn you're funny! Hey, do you think your keyboard will start slurring? I mean, after all that vodka...

Monica said...

my goodness I am moving my wine glass far far away from my keyboard, I have a laptop....it would kill the whole machine!!!!


good luck with your frankenkeyboard!!!!!!

Jay said...

Idalisa, you know what? You're brilliant. From this moment forward, any typo I make will now be attributed to this damned keyboard slurring its words.

sunny said...

Dear God,

Please let the keyboard be ok. Please bestow Dr. Jason with the patience and capacity to clean the keyboard to sparklyness. Please let Jay continue to blog. With a fully-functioning caps lock.

WE ALL KNOW THAT NO ONE CAN LIVE WITHOUT CAPS LOCK.

AMEN.