Saturday, January 15, 2005

It's Cold In Cornwall, Folks


Bored Beyond Belief


This is what happens in Canada.

In October, snow is new again. We take out our shovels, our mittens, the extension cord to plug in the block heater in the car. We grumble, but minimally.

In November, we have started developing caluses from shovelling. We worry about whether the salt on the sidewalk will eat away at our shoes. Grumbling increases exponentially.

In December, many of us have frostbite. But we grumble a little less, because we all want a white Christmas. The kids make snowmen during the holidays, we have hot chocolate and booze to keep us warm. Maybe we've even had some snow days off from school and work.

In January, it sucks. It sucks a lot. We're cold, man! And there's still 3 more months of this left! So, we start thinking up ways to entertain ourselves. We are cooped up indoors, trying to keep warm, so naturally the mind runs to the gutter. 9 months from now, the Canadian population will explode. And some people, well some people, probably single, are just bored beyond belief.

12 comments:

Harry said...

Canada. That's the north side of Chicago, right? No wonder I stay away. Odd-looking snowman you have there. Where are his arms?

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Wellllllll, I'm pleased to see on my 1st visite ici that you have a "well-coned", er, excusez moi, well-honed, sense of humor! ROFLMAO. Reminds me of those hilarious naughty cakes some people design. P.S. Thx for stopping by my blog. I'll show my daughter yours and others comments when she is returns from theatre rehearsal. I'll also show her this & photograph her face as she sees it. We're a liberal family...

Jay said...

Oh Harry, I know you are faking that wide-eyed innocence!

And to Green, yes, humour is necessary, especially for those of us who don't have other artistic talents as your family is blessed with.

Melinda said...

That's some serious boredom. And so well detailed!

Phillip said...

So cold leads to copulation.... *turns heater off

pinkme said...

Hehehe, my mother would wreck her car if she saw that! They must have some pretty big balls (oh lord, I just had to say that) to actually drive around with that in the back of their truck!

Jay said...

Good luck with that, phizz.

Pink, yeah, I couldn't help it either, under the next photo. It's irresistible!

citygurl said...

ha!! that's totally something I would do. that's hysterical...come on, man, it's art...do you know the kind of time and patience it takes to make that kind of masterpiece?

Elisa said...

I thought cold was supposed to cause shrinkage...

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

OK, the big dick is obviously an ingenius idea, but I think building it in a truck so that it can travel, now that's brilliant. Suddenly your art is on tour...

amy said...

I'm willing to bet those guys got a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts to build that sucker!

Cal the Wonderdog said...

Here in Frostbite Falls, MN tonight there's a warming trend: -19F windchill of -35. But yesterday it was colder - so cold in fact that our town lawyer was putting his hands in his own pockets.

Your picture reminds me that I'm coming up on nine months old and about to hit dog puberty - I hear it can get very exciting if your humans don't decide to take you to the vet for a surprise visit. (Shhhh don't tell anyone but the dog next door had his, you know whats chopped off - I try not to laugh every time he tries to impress me by rolling over and playing dead . . .)