Sunday, January 02, 2005

We are such stuff as dreams are made on...

Sleep is my fair-weather friend. We have our good nights, and our bad.

One night, not long ago, I lay dozing deeply in that delicious world of sleep where not even time can touch you. In my unconsciousness, it felt luxurious. If sleep were tangible, I would hug it.

I woke up in my cool bed, already sitting up. The black bars of the footboard were staring at me in the semi-darkness. The room had a blue haze to it, and it was so quiet that the silence became an it, a thing that came all around me and squeezed me just a little too hard. I swung my feet over the side of the bed, and groped for my robe, for a t-shirt, for anything that would come between me and the silence. I began to hum.

It was somewhere between morning and night, and I could feel dew on the grass when I walked into the backyard. The picnic table looked sad to me, abandoned, and the tire swing swayed slightly in the breeze. I remembered then that I must be cold, so I headed back for the house.

I fed the fish. I watched them swim around and wondered why I never caught them sleeping. I picked up the phone to call someone, and listened to the dial tone instead. It kept me company while I watched the fish. The fish seemed bored.


I laid down on the floor and made snow angels on the carpet. It tickled my skin. My eyelids felt so heavy, but I felt that I shouldn't close them, not yet. I counted the flowers on the ceiling and tried to remember since when there were flowers on the ceiling. The flowers became butterflies, and they flew down to me on the floor. I felt their soft wings fluttering against my skin, and they told me to sleep, so I did.

11 comments:

Harry said...

Beautiful!

Kelsey said...

that was so pretty. it totally consumed me. you should write like that more often. i loved it.

transience said...

oh, jay. i love, love, LOVE this post. it is so beautiful.

Monica said...

wow I want this to happen to me!!!! it is so nice :)

One night not long ago I woke up yelling at my boyfriend "where are the kids???? your laying on the kids?????" I was rocking him back & forth yelling for him to get off the kids he was smothering them!!! then I woke up with a boyfriend looking at me like I was insane, there are no kids, just us........

Please let me have a nice night like you did!! :)

amy said...

Oh wow, Jay. That was amazing!! Thanks for sharing that beautiful experience with the rest of us!

Pops said...

Sounds like classic alcohol poisoning to me. Drink more water.

Kelsey said...

thanx for stopping by my blog. <33

Tara said...

That was excellent Jay...I was totally wrapped up in it!

Jay said...

Thanks for the tip, pop.
I'd like to think that it was not solely alcohol-induced, but who knows where dreams come from?

Oh wait, I do. That's right, I majored in psych. I have a degree in it. I studied dreams. I know where they come from. But they're still mysterious to me.

I took a class in witchcraft once, and we were being taught how to dream lucidly, how to manipulate ourselves and others in dreams...apparently by having the whole class sleep in the same room as an Innuit medicine man, we would all gain these powers. I can't say any of it worked for me. I'm still a passive dreamer, and that's okay with me. I cannot be in charge all of the time, that's why I sleep in the first place, for a break from it all!

Cheex said...

Wow, I wish I could have dreams like that, but most of mine are pretty disturbing in some way. Either disturbing or just plain weird, but rarely peaceful like this.

Hell, it's even scarier when disturbing (symbolic) dreams come true.

Bah, psychology.

Kristen said...

I've just discovered your blog, and I can't even begin to tell you how thrilled I am that I've got five more years to read through. This particular entry really stood out to me - I just loved everything about it.