So this was the other day, and I had a couple of friends over, and I decided to give my new blender a second chance by blending up pitchers and pitchers of daiquiris, and then consuming them single-mouthedly. See how forgiving I am?
Anyway, I am Madame La Dropsy on a regular day, so you can imagine the way things go after so much alcohol...the first thing to end up on my pants was cheese. And not just crumbs of cheese that could roll off somewhat tidily, but soft cheese, the kind that smears.
I wish I could say that it stopped with the cheese, but it didn't.
I was in the middle of an olive backlash.
The night before, I walked right by the olives without pouting too much. I never have olives when I'm out, because the thing about olives is that they roll. And once you have olives on the floor, it's not much of a party anymore. It's just a sprained ankle waiting to happen, and I don't want to be responsible for that. So I was munching on olives that night to make up for abstaining the night before, and as is my habit with olives, I was sucking out the pimento first, because....well, because. Because that's what I do. I guess I don't even have to tell you about the catastrophe that ensued. You can imagine.
And Anna said, "I saw that", and this from the girl who was compulsively yelling out "Johnny Cash!" in answer to questions that only she could hear.
It took a while before I could admit that I was 'a little bit drunk', and by that time I was a lot bit drunk. So drunk that when I woke up 3 hours later, I wasn't hungover, I was still drunk. But I got dressed and went to the birthday party anyway, because how often does a girl turn the big 3?
Julia was so proud of herself, she kept telling all her guests, "I'm 3, I'm a big girl now. I wear panties. See?"
Yes, Julia, I do see.
And you know what?
I was doing that very same thing myself last night...only my panties aren't Cinderella. I'm all about Dora the Explorer.
Anyways, when did 3 year olds start calling them panties? I think I'm still too embarrassed to call them panties. Undies it is, all the way.